I can’t claim these all of these ideas as my own. I was recently at a church camp for girls, heard someone speak on this topic, and used some of her content for this post.

In Matthew 22, the Savior identifies the two greatest commandments. The first is to “love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind” (v.37). The second is to “love thy neighbor as thyself” (v.39). He then explains that by keeping these two commandments, you follow all the law and the prophets. In Luke, Jesus tells the parable of the Good Samaritan to demonstrate that all of mankind is our neighbor and is worthy of our kindness, or charity (‘charity’ being the Love of Christ that Christians should have for all men).

This second commandment is amazing, because the word “as” makes it a two-way statement. It becomes an equation were “as” is the equals sign and the phrases on either side must be equal. We are to love our neighbor equal to the amount that we love ourselves. Therefore, we must also love ourselves equal to the amount that we are taught to love our neighbors.

There is a well known block of scripture in 1 Corinthians in which we are taught how to treat our neighbors. In the thirteenth chapter, verses four through seven, it says: “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

It is surprising how well these verses can apply both to others as well as ourselves. I will not list them all out, but just use a few for examples.  Let’s start with long suffering. To be long suffering is to be patient. How often have we been patient with others as they strive to overcome weaknesses or are simply unaware of a shortcoming and yet grow frustrated with ourselves and our weaknesses? We need to be patient with ourselves.  We all make mistakes.  If you are striving to do something or change something about yourself and fall short, don’t beat yourself up over it.  Forgive yourself and try again.

This leads into the next characteristic of charity: kindness.  We try so hard to be kind to people in our thoughts and actions.  In trying to be kind, we would never put others down or call them names, yet how many times have you heard someone call themselves stupid or ugly?  How many times have you called yourself a name?  Remind yourself: “I am handsome/beautiful.  I am intelligent.  I am capable of great things.”  This is not pride.  This is recognition of the great gifts that God has given you and reinforcement of your self worth.

Again, we are brought right to the next point: charity for (or love of) self does not envy.  When we focus too much on what others have, we fall right back into the pit of listing what we don’t have.  Focus instead on what you do have.  Be careful not to be prideful; however.  Remember that all that you have and are comes from God and show your gratitude to Him by using your gifts for others.

Charity doesn’t behave unseemly, or inappropriately.  How does this apply to loving yourself?  There are times when we might be tempted to lower our standards or behave in a way that we know is wrong just because we are surrounded by others who do the same.  If we give in to these temptations, then we will look back regretfully on this moment.  It will take away from our self worth that we have worked so hard to build up.  If you have done something you regret, just remember the first qualities of charity that I discussed: patience and forgiveness.  Don’t hold in your guilt and frustration with yourself–forgive yourself and renew your efforts to do what your know to be right.

Again, think no evil about yourself.  Be kind to yourself and understanding.  Rejoice in the truth that you are a child of God and that He loves you always and forever, no matter what you do or where you go.  Believe “that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God” (Romans 8:38-39).  It is the truth.  As you come to love yourself, you will find yourself more able to love others.  This great commandment, to love your neighbor as yourself, is truly an equation in that as your ability to love yourself increases, your ability to love others increases proportionately.